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I remember my classmate staring at me like I was an alien after I said âthank youâ to him.
Why?
Well, I spent all my time reading books rather than talking to peopleâŚ
And I would never look people in the eye when talking to themâŚ
You get the idea.
I used to be so shy that I never spoke a word in class.
Yet youâd never know that today if you looked at my LinkedIn profile. Some people say Iâm a pro at networking.
Yes, my LinkedIn headline is right - I really advised 1k+ people. I did the math
How did I get here?
Keep scrolling to read my story (and how I reacted to being treated like an alien) đ
Imagine someone handing you a business card at a networking event.
Thatâs probably what youâre expecting, right?
Well, I disagree with that definition of networking.
To me, networking isnât âformalâ or âprofessionalâ at all.
Networking is about:
Okay, the psychology student in me jumped out there at that last point đ
But you get the idea.
Networking can sound really intimidating.
Once you think of it as building long-term relationships with super interesting people (maybe even the next Steve Jobs? đ¤Ż), you start looking forward to it.
But even after I thought of networking this way, I wasnât quite ready to network in a room of 30+ peopleâŚ
With this new definition of ânetworkingâ in mind, I started out small.
In fact, I didnât even speak to a single personâŚ
Okay, before you think Iâm a scammer, I promise this is all part of the process.
Hereâs what happened.
I attended a panel event - it was one of those startup presentations where people talked about all the cool things they were making.
It was all online through Zoom, so I kept my camera and microphone off.
I felt like I had the invisibility cloak đ
During the event, I felt so inspired by everything the startup founders were sharing.
I kept giving them encouragement and privately messaged some of them in the Zoom chat to follow their startups.
Then, after the event, one of the founders and I kept in touch over social media.
Weâve been supporting each other ever since.
P.S. if youâre wondering where you can find these eventsâŚwe actually host a lot of fun workshops! Maybe youâve gotten some emails about them, and even met me as I was the speaker for some of them!
Okay, so youâve read about my story long enough. Now, as a âthank youâ for your attention, Iâd like to share 5 tips that made networking effective for me.
This tip sounds kinda negative, but I promise, it helps.
When you realize that people are more preoccupied with their own lives than yours, it feels liberating.
Sometimes, Iâll say something I think is cringey.
I used to spend hours agonizing over it, regretting my every action.
But then I asked myself:
âDo I remember a time when others have said something cringey?â
Nope.
I tried for like 5 minutes.
Couldnât think of a single instance.
I asked myself another question:
âWill I even remember what I said 5 years from now?â
I donât even remember what I had for breakfast today.
Thatâs how insignificant that âcringey momentâ was for me.
Once you shift your mindset, you get less scared of saying the wrong thing.
Then, you can start seeking out opportunities to create your own luck.
I thrive when talking to just 1 person.
I love hearing their hopes, dreams, and goals.
Thatâs why I started out by just reaching out to 1 person at a time.
In fact, you can even reach out to me!
Iâm just 1 person.
Can I challenge you to reach out to at least 1 new person on LinkedIn that you admire?
Make sure to leave a personalized connection note saying why you admire that person!
As I mentioned, itâs a lot easier to network when youâre learning about the other person.
I see everyone I connect with as a potential friend.
I care about all my friends, and love to ask about their dreams and goals.
You can do this too!
Make a list of questions ahead of time to start the conversation with someone.
Questions like:
It may seem awkward to go up to someone to ask those questions, but some of the most enriching conversations Iâve had were based on those.
Take the leap.
You wonât regret it.
(And if you do, itâs just 1 person anyway!)
Weird headline title, Iâll admit.
But hopefully it helps you remember this tip.
If you struggle to make eye contact with someone like me, look between their eyes - on their forehead - instead.
This will make you seem more focused on the conversation, and that person will like you better.
(Yes, there was a research study on this.)
Itâs even easier if youâre networking online.
Just look at your screen.
You can even tape a funny meme near your webcam and look at that.
May I suggest this meme:
I understand that networking can be intimidating.
Maybe the other person youâre talking to is nervous too!
Thatâs why you must remember to smile.
Smiling can help the other person relax - theyâll smile back at you, which can help you relax too!
I see a lot of networking newbies forget that networking is just connecting with another person.
Itâs not like youâre in trouble at the principalâs office.
Treat it like youâre making a new friend, and youâll be successful.
So if your memory is terrible like mine (yup, still struggling to remember what I ate for breakfast), hereâs a summary of my tips:
Remember that story about my classmate?
He mustâve stared at me for 1 full minute after I spoke.
I guess he was just really shocked that I could speak.
Although I was just a kid back then and didnât do anythingâŚ
Looking back now, this memory shifted my whole mindset.
I look at things differently now, and ask myself 2 questions before and after networking:
This helps me be more mindful and intentional with what I want to achieve by connecting with others.
Forward to a friend!
This is my face when I see you share my story to help more people:
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